1st Pregnant Post: Unexpectedly Expecting

Well, I'm finally pregnant! Not that I was trying, of course. But I secretly wanted to be pregnant every-other-day. Unfortunately, I took the test on a day I did not want to see a "pregnant" line on my ClearBlueEasy. It was Saturday afternoon; I was about 3 days "late," but I chalked it up to major stress from school and bickering w/ DH. He urged me to take a test, but the only one we had had expired over 2 years ago! I called my BF Jing to tell her I was up for the exam. Later, she told me that she was sitting in her car and it suddenly hit her intuition that I was indeed preggers. She text me immediately, "btw... your preg." At home, DH was anxiously waiting the result. This CBE test is digital (which is pretty amazing), so while it's measuring it blinks with an hour glass.

He's holding the test and says to me, "What happens when it stops blinking?"
Reply: "Then it's got a reading. Why? WHAT DOES IT SAY???"

I snatched the test out of his hands, and in clear easy English, "PREGNANT." I almost fainted. Actually, I started crying. This can't be happening! I was supposed to have a year to prepare for not drinking and staying up till dawn. We were supposed to go to Oktoberfest in Germany in a year and get pregnant then! This is NOT according to my plans!! (And boy do I always have a plan!) I was hysterical; DH was ecstatic.

I called my BF Jing to confirm her all-knowing suspicions. It was her birthday, and since she's actually been trying to conceive for a little while now, it was very bittersweet. It was also my MIL's birthday, so we gave her the news as a present. Everyone was really happy for us. My mom was out shopping for a stove and said, "Well, gosh. I just can't even think about shopping for a stove now!" My dad was at a party, where he announced it to the whole crowd, "I'm going to be a Grandpa again!" That was probably the best part -- telling everyone that we're expecting a baby and seeing/hearing their delighted expressions.

My other BF Mari had to come over for a congrats hug. She took one look at my face and said with all seriousness, "Hey. It's going to be OK. This is a great thing. I'm here every step of the way." Since she's also been through an unexpected pregnancy, I took this to heart. She comes over to feed our dogs on Monday's when we're at school - and when we got home, there was a vase of beautiful flowers, some sparkling apple juice, and a great "congrats" card. She's a gem.

Of course, that weekend we went out and bought 4 pregnancy books, pre-natal vitamins, and I just couldn't get off the internet. I suddenly felt like all the knowledge I had previously read, I couldn't remember any more. This sudden fear that I have no idea what I'm doing is intense.

Then Tuesday rolled around after a weekend of blur and non-focus. My BF Jing was having some similar "symptoms" which she chalked up to PMS. She's never had a regular cycle since I've known her, so we weren't too excited when she was 4 days late. I really pushed her to take a test that night saying how things come in 3's: My co-worker, Me, and her all preg. She kept saying she didn't believe it... but then I got the text: "well, the picture won't send... but that makes 3." I called and screamed through the roof!!! Nothing could make me happier at that moment than hearing that we are BOTH pregnant! We check her "charts" and realize that we are pregnant within ONE DAY of each other. So the Pals are going to have babies at the same time!

So, here we are: Today marks the end of week 5. Our little miracles are growing so fast!

"The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job." -- From BabyCenter.com

We're not experiencing morning sickness yet... but I'm sure that will be coming along shortly. I am however feeling that impulsive rage that some women get. It takes NOTHING to set me off. Last night at the grocery store, a small family was walking down the same aisle as me and their kids were all over the place. Two of the girls practically walked into me - definitely walked too close - and I couldn't stop myself from glaring at them. DH just shook his head. I'm sure there is more of this to come... *ho hum*

Cute preg thing: Driving home from work I was singing Elton John's "Rocket Man" along with the radio and realized that one day very soon my little baby will be able hear me singing! Totally started to cry.

I thought I knew what I wanted out of life. But it wasn't until now that I see this is really what I wanted. I think the most amazing part right now is realizing that no matter what happens this baby is MINE. Everything could collapse around me and this one thing would never change: I'm this baby's mama. Dear God, Don't let me fuck up.